L.O.B. vs Anonymous – Keep Playin’

Keep Playin'
The latest third-person account of my weekly attempt to play eight-a-side football – we wear grey… Keep playin’

The Greys line up against Anonymous one man down and desperate for a win. Technically, they are on a two game winning streak, but those victories include a cancellation and a friendly. Now it’s time to get back to business.

Thankfully, player manager Thomas arrives five minutes into the game and the Greys are back up to full strength. Soon after that defender Pierre finds himself in space down the right wing. Teammates scream out for the pass but Pierre tunes them out, striking the ball sweetly into the top right corner of Anonymous’ goal.

The Greys keep passing the ball around like a team that actually practices – together, on the same pitch – and their non-stop pressure soon pays off. A half-hearted clearance by Anonymous’ keeper is intercepted by Thomas, who makes the most of the gift and puts the Greys 2-0 up.

Anonymous’ biggest threat is their Hulk-like forward Ricky, who operates like a one-man team with a short fuse – “you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” Ricky’s right foot is fierce and he isn’t scared to use it – even if that means shooting from both Anonymous centres. Luckily, Greys keeper Yusuf manages to save his blushes and keep them out… barely.

Just before half-time a dodgy penalty decision goes Anonymous’ way and Ricky steps up to convert the chance. It doesn’t seem to calm him down, though. In fact, he seems even angrier.

The Greys start the second half with a bang. Midfielder Manu, who could find space in a crowded elevator, continues to pull the strings in the middle of the park. Meanwhile, Greys defenders Julien and Theo manage to contain Ricky – which seems to anger him even more.

Eventually, against the run of play, Anonymous pull one back to level the score. But then a clever threaded pass by Manu finds Adam, who squeezes the ball under Anonymous’ keeper to put the Greys 3-2 up.

Soon afterwards Ricky makes one outburst too many and referee Ash Pedantic sends him off for dissent. And with that, Anonymous become a toothless, nameless team without a focal point and the Greys hang on for a memorable 3-2 win.

In truth, it could have been a lot more; Manu could have had a hat-trick on another day. Alex had a few chances too – including a slow-motion one-on-one that seemed to hit the inside of the post and rebound off thin air. And Adam hit the post as well. But the important thing is: they won… finally.

After the game Ash and Ricky continue to battle all the way to the change rooms – at one point it looks like Ricky is going to throw a punch, saying things like, “Don’t step to me.” Then for some reason Ash brings his children into the mix, “I’m a father like you, I have kids” he says. Weird…


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