The key to a good burger’s all in the preparation. Take MeatPorn in the Old Truman Brewery’s Ely’s Yard, Shoreditch, for example. I mean, the name sounds about as appetising as Ron Jeremy’s moustache, but as soon as you read the menu you’re licking your lips like “The Hedgehog” in his heyday.
The first thing you notice is that all MeatPorn’s burgers are soaked in whiskey, which straight away activates a mini sprinkler shower in my mouth – even now. And if you’re anything like me, the second thing you notice is the Jameson Bacon Cheeseburger. Order placed.
The cook grabs a fresh-looking beef ball from the fridge and flattens it out on the grill. After a bit of sizzling he covers it with a metal bowl and proceeds to check it with the kind of regularity a Swiss watchmaker would be proud of.
Next he sticks a bun on the grill and toasts it in the juices of a million whiskey soaked beef and pulled pork burgers. Then an order of bacon hits the deck, before it’s covered in cheese and hidden under another metal dish.
Finally, with the precision of a surgeon, the cook adds some salad, red onion pickle relish, smoked and pickled chillies, and my selection of tastebud-tantalising homemade sauces to the devilishly toasted bun. Then he tops the burger patty with the bacon and cheese coagulation, looks up and gives me the two-minute warning.
One minute and 59 seconds later he’s scraping it all off the grill and delicately handing me his lovingly created work of burger art with a proud, knowing smile. It lasts about five glorious minutes.